Butterboobies

An (I think) amusing story from Bali-travel that I forgot in my jet-lagged blogging state that I feel I should share with you, my non-paying audience.

I love butter. Love it.

But I hate when I’m at a restaurant and am given cold butter + cold bread.

This does not float my boat.

So I have a habit of shoving the pat of butter either down my bra or under my thigh to warm it sufficiently for ease of spreading. Then it’s good to go. Now, on aircraft, the butter AND the crappy rolls they give you are practically frozen, so several times I discreetly shoved my little container of butter inside my bra to defrost. Not a problem.

Imagine my surprise, however, when I was towards the end of my Singapore – Dubai leg and I touched my chest, only to wonder why I had moisturiser all over it. I do have a habit of slathering myself in La Mer products when in airports – I can’t afford it, but hush! the sales staff don’t need to know that! I couldn’t remember lathering up in La Mer goodness in Singapore.....

Have you guessed yet?
Not moisturiser.
Nope.
Melted butter.
That I’d forgotten about and that had melted all through my bra and seeped though my shirt.
Awesome.
And with only 14 hours of traveling left in front of me.

I’m a freaking genius I am.

I had totally forgotten about this (repressed?) until we were out for dinner last night at the always lovely Cannes institution Le Caveau 30 and out of habit I tucked the butter down ye olde top.

Clearly, I have learnt nothing. NOTHING.

It could have been that I was distracted by the presence of Stellan Skarsgård at our neighbouring table. His son plays Vampire Eric in True Blood and is all kinds of hotness despite the fact that he is boning ew!Kate Bosworth – who needs to eat a cheeseburger.

I have a pretty good feeling that Kate Bosworth probably doesn't stick butter down her bra.

What am I saying?
She doesn't eat BUTTER
She doesn't EAT.

xx
The idiot in 32A with melted butterboobies.