Friday, 30 October 2009

Just a phone call away

I love my family, truly I do, but sometimes, they are a bit retarded.

I live in France, not on farking Jupiter. A phone call people. It keeps me in the loop. The time difference isn't even that hard. I manage to work it out every. time. I. call. you.

That is all. Rant over.

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On a positive family-related note: I get to see Holly in 36 days if all goes to plan and the bank (aka M) lets me go see her in Paris. YAY! So soon! So excited! And have been planning and researching Berlin for the 30th birthday extravaganza. Going to be WICKED.

Off to have drinks for Hannah's birthday. Catch.
Two weekends ago we were thrilled to have a visit from Hels and Tom, all the way from Chav filled Eggsborough to little old Cannes La Bocca. Suffice to say I had a sore tummy for days afterwards, from both the quantity of food and drink consumed and the prolonged laughing attacks. They are as crazy and as much fun as ever.

We ate our body weight in cheese, played monster marathons of Trivial Pursuit and Pictionary, drank way way way too much red wine (especially Friday night, both boys felt decidedly unwell Saturday morn) did the standard Tour Package – St Pauls, Cannes, Beach etc but also had a special lunch on Sunday at the gorgeous, Michelin starred restaurant Les Terallieurs in Biot. It was so great to see them.

I have also decided that if there was ever a quiz show based solely on the Pink questions from Trivial Pursuit, I would smash that. Kind of a ‘Who wants to be a Millionaire’ type show based solely on facts gathered by watching far too much TV, watching too many movies and reading trashy mags. Oh yeah. I’m all over that. What kind of cigarettes Patty and Selma from The Simpsons smoke? Easy. What book is Hugh Grant’s character reading to Julia Robert’s character at the end of Notting Hill? Pfffff. What TV shows were created by David E. Kelley? Give me a challenge. Geography/News/History/Sport. Not so much. And I also have the problem that when I want to say either Robert Mugabe or Zacarias Moussaoui I always think or, more embarrassingly say Mugatu. Who is Will Ferrel's character in Zoolander. Worrisome. Lucky M knows, like, science and stuff. It’s depressing that I can quote from Twilight and remember lyrics to 80s pop ballads and recount most of the dialogue all seasons of Buffy. But Biology? – nup. Maths? We all know the infamous “What’s 100 divided by 4” story and, until it recently became a necessity, I had repressed the knowledge of all French verb conjugations. Sad really.


Aw well. I’m off to look at PerezHilton.com......






















Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Le Vieil Aiglun - a weekend in Provence

Hope you’re all ready for a blog photo explosion, as we went a little bit snap-crazy last weekend.

To celebrate three years of lawfully wedded bliss, we decided to go away for a weekend or, as Bridget Jones would put it, a mini-break. This was particularly lovely/needed as M has, until recently, been working insane hours on his humongous bid, thankfully, that is all finished now, but we had been lacking on some quality time. I found us the perfect place. A little BnB in what’s called the ‘Haute Provence’ region, about 2.5 hours North...err...West-ish? Here’s the website if you want to pee yourself with jealousy: http://www.vieil-aiglun.com/index.php?section=1-home-page

So we left on Friday afternoon, got out of Cannes and up into the hills and were promptly pulled over by the police. Whaaa? A slightly confusing conversation followed where he asked us if it was raining (it wasn’t, we thought this might have been a trick question, as it had been earlier) it was all rather weird but it seemed we weren’t allowed to have our lights on. €45 fine (which we didn’t get) but anyway, odd, slightly nerve-wracking, but we had a giggle and safely made it to our accommodation.

Absolutely stunning. One of the nicest places I’ve ever stayed. The owners were so so lovely and they’ve done an amazing job. I couldn’t recommend the place more highly. See photos to better understand this place’s loveliness.

We headed out for dinner that night in Digne les bains, the closest main-ish town to where we were staying and on the way home...got pulled over by the police. No, I’m not kidding. FOUR policemen surrounded the car, but this time we got to the bottom of it. We had our fog lights on. Which is a BIG no-no apparently. Fair enough, lesson learned. HOWEVER, anyone who has ever visited France will have witnessed some of the most harebrained/suicidal/maniacal driving, speeding, parking – ie: stopping to park on roundabouts etc, so we did find it incredibly amusing that we get pulled over TWICE for fog lights. Breaking the speed limit by 50km/h or more? Fine. Throwing your hazard lights on and parking in a lane of traffic causing chaos? Fine. Fog lights NO! NO! Don’t be speaking the crazy-ness! France is funny.

Anywhoodle, the next morning we had went into Digne les Bains, had a wander and stocked up with delicious food goodies for a picnic lunch at the local, awesome markets. Free tastings at the cheese stall. Hells yes. Après we visited another town, Sisteron, had our picnic by the lake and then walked up the hill to the city’s famous Citadel and Church – which is perched right up on top of a rocky ridge. The views were incredible and we had such a fun time exploring the place. Lots of photos and sillyness. That night went for dinner at a restaurant recommended by our hosts, and it was fantastic. Regional food, done beautifully. The dessert was sublime and I may have been quite adamant about wanting to eat that over and over again. May have also drunk a bit too much vin rouge.

Next morning we got up at the crack of dawn to watch the sunrise. 10 points if you can guess whose idea this WASN’T. But the views were so lovely and despite being told I look like a Tellytubby when waddling slowly downhill, it was definitely worth it.

Last stop on the trip was a little town called Forcalquier, which unbeknownst to us, was having its annual Local farmers/Produce/Slightly and awesomely hippie festival/market-thing. That’s a very specific definition right there. Regardless, it was wicked! Amazing stalls, this great jazz band group, beautiful food and produce and my favourite bit, the fact that at 12.00, the whole town sat down for a bog communal lunch in the street. €10 gets you chicken grilled on open fires by the church, rice, lentils, Moroccan carrots, a slice of apple tart, a glass of red and some very interesting conversation with the strangers next to you!


Our accomodation:












Beautiful room



The little library/nook

Digne les Bains markets

Sisteron


The citadel at the top of the hill

Our picnic lunch







Noice views









After dinner on Sat night. A little bit boozed.

Watching the sun come up















Forcalquier








All in all a simply wondrous weekend.


Monday, 5 October 2009

My husband's brain

M finds this hilarious. He has been quoting it for days.






uh huh.

Then again, his favourite joke also includes a duck:

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we haven't got any f**king bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f**king bread, ask me again and I'll nail your f**king beak to the bar you irritating bast**d of a f**king bird!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?


Warning to any potential visiors: You WILL hear M ask me, at least once a day "Got any bread" and if you happen to point at anything he WILL say "Look at this duck. LOOK AT IT".

Consider yourself forewarned.