Total Eclipse of the Heart

I finally got around to seeing Eclipse on Monday night.
And now I’m of two minds.

On the one hand I thought it was easily the best film of the three. The action scenes were tight, the story made more sense, the cinematography was spot on, the actors are (slowly) getting better and better and I enjoyed Rosalie and Jasper’s back stories a lot.

On the other hand, it has become clear to me what the problem is with these films. Totally IMHO of course, but I think they are actually too true to the source material, like painstakingly so, to the point where the actual quality of the film suffers.

Hear me out. I’d like to lie in order to maintain some English Lit teacher credibility and say I didn’t enjoy the books, but a lie it would be.

I sucked them up like a thirst crazed new-born. (Zing!)

I thoroughly enjoyed reading them and have re-read them several times.

As far as entertainment goes – Twilight Saga = Awesomesauce .
In terms of quality writing that translates well when coming out of somewhat reluctant actors’ mouths = fizzzzzzle.

But I don’t think this would be a problem if they weren’t so slavish to S.Meyer’s writing and spent a bit more time developing, interpreting and making quality films. Because the quality aint great.

You can kind of forgive them the first film – it was a small budget little indie film.

But then the world of Twi-hards exploded and these are now huge, HUGE money spinners – so answer me this: why couldn’t they afford to get K.Stew a decent wig? Why do the Cullen’s, supposedly the most glorious, chiselled, beautiful non-humans in the world still look like they’ve had a fight with blackboard dusters? Why has no-one gotten the (admittedly INSANELY hot) Taylor Lautner an acting coach and taught him not to be So. Very. Earnest. With. Every. Line? Why does the main directing tip for RPatz seem to be “look constipated”??? Urgh.


I can’t help comparing it to the Harry Potter films. Have you seen the trailer for Deathly Hallows?!?!

I posted it awhile back so if not, we are fighting.

THAT is how you make quality. THAT is ensuring you give your fans the very best.


I guess that’s what I don’t understand – are the powers that be in Twilight-land so worried that the craze won’t last, so they want to get all 4/5 films out ASAP, even if it means sacrificing quality? Or is it simply a problem of source material? I don’t think so.

By all accounts the books in The Vampire Diaries series are kinda crap-tastic, and yet that show brings the goods, it’s seriously entertaining TV! And then there’s True Blood. Charlaine Harris’ novels aren’t bad – probably a bit better and cleverer than Twilight, and that show Kicks Ass so hard. I watched the most recent episode yesterday and my jaw was on the ground the whole time. Crazy and so so good.

Anyway. I think I’ve gone around in circles a few times.
And I acknowledge the inherent hypocrisy in saying the producers of the Twilight Films are too loyal to the books, when a failure to do so with films-of-books usually has me screaming from the rooftop. I’m a complex creature. True story.


To end on a positive note – the BEST thing about Twilight: Eclipse?
The soundtrack. AMAZEBALLS.

I love Sia already and want to have her babies, same goes for Florence and the Machine, and ’My Love’ and ‘Heavy in My Arms’ respectively are phenomenal.
Vampire Weekend’s ‘Jonathan Low’ is so damn catchy and I challenge you not to give a bit of a hip/shoulder shimmy when listening to UNKLE’s ‘With you in My Head’. All the songs are great.

The soundtrack is Quality with a capital K. If only the whole enterprise was this good.

Ok. Jacob’s Abs are also Quality. And are themselves worth the admission price.