Not happy

Dear people doing building works next door,

Firstly – I hate you. Lets get that out of the way right from the outset.

Why? – you may well ask. I’ll explain.

I tolerated when you started tearing down the building next to me which made our entire apartment building shudder violently, made telephone conversations inside the apartment impossible and left our balconies and washing covered in debris and shit.

I was mildly pissed off when you decided then instead of going to a rubbish tip like normal people with your piles and piles of rubble and detritus and plant matter, that instead you would BURN it in a large bonfire despite it being (A) 28 degrees in the shade and (B) a residential area. Plastic and plumbing pipes don’t burn well douchebag! So not only did I have two balconies and all my clean washing covered in ash, but our entire apartment smelt like Satan’s armpit.

Now that you’ve finished clearing the plot, you spent some time digging big holes. Bully for you. That was a little irritating and noisy, but a calm respite from the burning pits of bonfires-gone-bad hell.

I noticed something in your work patterns dueing all of this though. You seemed absurdly keen jellybean, to start around 6.00am. And there was no sign of you after about 2.00pm. Even for France, these hours struck me as odd.

But now you’re building, or hammering, or something.

And it’s July.

In the South of France.

And stinking hot.

We don’t have air-conditioning so we leave all our doors/windows open at night to facilitate a gentle breeze that lulls us off to sleep, with the cicadas twittering harmonically in the background.

Until some knob jockey starts hammering and drilling at 6.30am. Mutha f-cker!

So be thee warned anonymous building people, if I see you, I’m going to kick you right in the balls.

Because I’m grumpy now due to a lack of sleep.

Yours sincerely,
The angry lady on the 3rd floor.

Oh yes, I see you. I'm watching. And waiting.

Mwuh ha ha ha.