Masterchef

Even though I’m completely off actually eating food at the moment – other than for survival/fending off trips to the toilet to spew and feeding the person growing inside me – I’m still loving the latest series of Masterchef France.

It’s a great format and, bonus! - I can watch it in French (avec sous titres) and understand everything (I speak fluent foodie, indeed I am multi-lingual in food) and I love the wacky challenges they come up with.

I have one major problem with it though, and I’m blaming the douche-tards at TF1 (the television channel broadcasting Masterchef) for this one. They have enough footage to show an episode every night. But is this what they do? NO! They put it all on ONE night from 20.45 til after midnight!

WHY???? 

This drives me bonkers as I need to see what crazy-arse challenge they get thrown at them – last week: Go choose ingredients for whatever recipe you like that best represents you then BAM! You have to swap ingredients with your neighbour who may have picked brains and scampi! Ha! Then afterwards a 30 minute challenge to decorate a 3-tier wedding cake! Which would be awesome fun but not under such pressure! I also have to know which team wins the team challenge, blue or red. I then need to see what they have to do for the last-chance challenge. I. Cannot. Turn. Away.

Last week, Pierre Hermé, the macaron man HIMSELF was in da house and the contestants had to re-invent one of his world famous patisseries.

I’ll say this about Pierre Hermé  – he knows his shizz (and looks like he’s probably enjoyed an éclair or two in his time) and the contestants were crapping themselves. He is a Big. Deal.

They also showed (much later – like around midnight, grrr, see my above rantings and grumblings) he and his team making the incredible Mogador Macarons – which are dark chocolate and passionfruit flavoured and are M’s absolute favourite and my #2 behind Caramel au beurre sale). Awesome food porn.

It would be so amazing to be on a show like Masterchef, yes it’s contrived and heavily over-produced but the contestants must learn so much. So often they are given food to prepare and while I consider myself a decent cook, I would have NO IDEA how to cook most of what's thrown at them. And, of course, being that it’s a French show, things like Foie Gras, livers, kidneys, offal and the ubiquitous scallops St Jacques make frequent appearances.

Now, if only the idiots at TF1 didn’t see fit to disrupt my sleeping patterns by putting the whole thing on one night.

Good thing I’m taking lots naps at the moment because my 6.15am wake up the next day HURTS!

Grumble over. Peace out.


B
xxx